Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly, in an act... of desperation
[VELMA (to Roxie)]
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight fo the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, sure!
But my sistr is now, unfortunately, deceased
Oh, I know it's sad, of course
But a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect double act!
Watch this:
[VELMA dances]
Now you have to imagine
this with two people.
It's swell with two people.
First I'd...(drums!)
Then she'd...(saxophone!)
Then we'd...(together!)
But I can't do it alone!
Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'...
But I can't do it alone!
She'd say,"What's your sister like?"
I'd say, "Men,"
Yuk, Yuk, yuk
She'd say, "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, sreaming, begging for more.
[spoken]
And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, keep your socks up.
you ain't seen nothin' yet!"
[VELMA dances]
But I simply cannot do it alone!
Well? What did ya' think? Come on, you can say.
[ROXIE gives her a raspberry]
I know you're right. The first part is shit
But the second part was really nifty. Watch this.
Then she'd...(See, get it, right?)
Then I'd...(Then I'd kick really high...)
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone!
She'd say, "What state's Chicago in?"
I'd say, "ILL!"
Did ya' get that?
She'd say, "Turn your motor off"
I can hear 'em cheerin' still
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...(Sideways!)
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
[spoken]
And we'd say. "O.K. boys, we're goin' home, but here's a few more partin' shots!"
And this... this we did in perfect unison.
[VELMA dances]
Now, you've seen me goin' through it
It may seem there's nothin' to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone!
I simply cannot do it alone...